Discover the Hidden Pitfalls and Boundaries of Coaching Leadership
You are in a coaching conversation with an employee. The employee proudly tells you about their progress. You give a compliment. The employee beams. You think: now we can go a layer deeper and ask, “If anything were possible, what would you most like to do?” After all, you’ve had enough management training to know that you need to delve into beliefs, values, identity, and mission to get to the core of a change. But suddenly, the rhythm and energy of the conversation change. The employee thinks for a long time and then says, “Just what I’m doing now.” You nod understandingly. But inside, you’re searching for the answer to the question: what did I do wrong to cause the conversation to shift like this?
Coach and Leader: Two Different Roles
Take comfort: it might not be you at all. There are simply limitations to the coaching possibilities you have as a manager. That’s not so strange. Coach and leader are two different roles for a reason. Being aware of this provides relief and energy in the conversations you have.
Benefits of Coaching Skills
Before we look at those limitations, it’s good to know that it’s absolutely valuable for you as a manager to have coaching skills. Do you ask the right questions? Do you really listen? A happy employee is a productive employee. Coaching helps employees develop new skills, increase their competencies, set clearer goals, and work more effectively. It enhances motivation, productivity, and problem-solving ability, helping the organization grow and improve the work culture.
The Iceberg Model: Deeper Layers
An effective coaching, you’ve undoubtedly heard before, starts with a conversation about the motivations and drivers of your employees. According to McClelland's iceberg model, people operate on three different levels:
What people do: knowledge, skills, and behavior
What people think: norms, values, beliefs, self-image
What people want: traits, personality, drivers, and motives
The theory assumes: if you bring about change at the deeper levels, it will directly affect the upper levels. Conversations about beliefs or drivers have a greater impact than a conversation on the first level. Conversations about what drives and motivates your employees promote a larger and more sustainable change in behavior or skills.
After all, if you discover in a conversation that an employee has a strong personal mission to help others, they will be much more motivated to optimize customer-oriented behavior. Conversely, an employee who only follows a customer-friendliness training might exhibit this behavior only under supervision.
Once you understand this as a leader, you’ll want nothing more than to have good coaching conversations at the bottom two levels. These conversations are worth their weight in gold.
But it’s precisely at these levels where the limitations also lie.
Power Dynamics
First and foremost, the most obvious and I think the most restrictive limitation: you and your employee have a power dynamic. Employees may be reluctant to openly discuss their motives, challenges, and drivers for fear of negative consequences. After all, you also conduct their performance reviews. Why would employees openly discuss their limiting beliefs, fears, dreams, wishes, when you could use that against them at some point? Of course, they will still answer your questions, and many will indeed trust you. But there is always the hierarchy that will make them cautious. The employee who dreams of a career as a singer will be hesitant to discuss that with the bank manager they work for.
Emotional Load
Another limitation is emotional load. If you really want to get to the bottom of that iceberg, conversations can become so emotionally charged that they go beyond the professional relationship. What do you do if you discover that unwanted behavior of an employee stems from unresolved trauma? How many conversations can you then have as a coaching manager, and when do you say: here I pass the baton to a professional coach or, in this case, psychologist? And with that handover, your dialogue about the deeper layers of the employee's iceberg is also limited.
Lack of Time
And that brings me to a third and certainly no less important limitation: time. Good coaching takes time and, let’s be honest, you don’t have as much of that as a manager as you would like. If you want to get to the deeper layers, it takes more time than the limited amount you have for an employee. Not to mention the time it takes to master the coaching techniques to reach those deeper layers. If you get the chance, definitely learn those techniques because you’ll benefit from them your whole life. But everything takes time.
What Does Work?
Coaching on the top layer of knowledge, skills, and behavior, works excellently. In fact, it is expected of you as a manager to provide guidance here. The beauty is: if employees grow in their behavior or skills thanks to your coaching, it enhances your working relationship. Where the layers become more personal, the limitations also begin.
Should you then avoid those bottom layers completely? No, when you and your employee can talk openly about these layers, you have the best conversations and the most results. But know that for many employees, there is a natural barrier there. It’s not your fault, but due to your role, and that’s perfectly okay.
Referring at Deeper Layers
What can you do if you notice in conversation with the employee that you can’t get to those deeper layers but suspect that therein lies the key to change? Then see who within or outside your organization can take on that role. A psychologist or a coach has an equal hierarchy with the employee, is trained to handle high emotional loads, and can make the time that is needed.
Conclusion
Strong coaching skills as a manager are definitely a plus. Know that hierarchy, emotional load, and limited time can limit your possibilities as a manager. Being aware of this allows you to more easily switch between the levels at which you coach or refer your employee to someone in a different role in time. Ultimately, as a leader, you are happiest and most successful with a team that feels good.
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